Glasgow, Montana To Glasgow, Scotland And Back!

Elijah Make-A-Wish Pre Interview

2011-05-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

Elijah is a friend of a friend's little boy, fighting cancer (dragon). He's going to be interviewed by the Make-a-Wish foundation. The foundation asks that the family talk about some of the questions beforehand.
Here's what Elijah said.

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

2011-05-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

Boy, I could send this one out to a couple of people....

Anyway, Adele has a fabulous voice. Enjoy!

Stand at attention

2011-05-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

AC/DC - Shoot To Thrill

2011-05-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

The Garden Hoe

2011-05-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I'd love to have my own garden show. I'd call it 'The Garden Hoe' and have the cameraman follow me all over the damn place while I attempt to make an edible landscape out of the 2+ acres this place sits on. Being a hoe and everything, I'd have to drive the tractor in daisy dukes and run the rototiller braless, but, if I could get HDTV to pay for plants and materials, it'd be worth a couple of black eyes.

I'll try to get my garden plan scanned so that you can see what the hell I've been up to lately. (It involves carrots, broccoli, beets and manure)

Freedom?

2011-05-06T12:39:00.000-07:00

The kids just left with their dad, gone for the weekend.

Huh.....

Now what?

It's been years since I've had the weekend to myself and, to be honest, I'm at a loss of what to do. (Also hampered by a lack of lottery winnings) I have gardening, of course, to do and shit around the house, but I'm honestly not sure what to do.

I should make a drink or something decadent....

TGIF

2011-04-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

In a 'up off my ass and on my way' moment, I got a great lead on a job that starts next month and became an outreach coordinator for my running group. It's nice to be wanted.

I'm still dealing with everything else, but it's going pretty darn good.

I'm not in the hospital at least.

Earth Day - A Day Later

2011-04-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

Now, if I could just figure out something this ingenious to do with uisce breatha bottles!

Blessed Are the Dumbf*cks

2011-04-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I'm a huge fan of Christopher Moore. I found out yesterday that he has an "official merchandise" website where you can get things like THIS:

If that's too small to read, it says, "Blessed Are the Dumbfucks" from Lamb. There's a whole load of Christopher's stuff (and the best part is that all of the proceeds go to MS research!) from all of his books so race on over there and buy stuff. Especially you, Limpy...I don't want to be the only one with a dumbfuck t-shirt.

New Career

2011-04-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

I visited the accountant today - yea, I know, a lot late. He made mention of that to me also. But, as I'm in between careers right now and I had brought him in a tomato plant, he also mentioned that I should grow pot.

"If you can grow tomatoes like this, you can grow pot"

What??

On the drive home, I got to thinking....well, to be technical. An herb is an herb....

But, I haven't thrown out the tomatoes just yet.

Getting A Lot Done

2011-04-07T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the whole celibacy thing sucks, but I'm getting a helluva lot of stuff done. And cooking up a storm. Right now, I have potatoes going for potato salad ("come on summer!") and am in the hunt for a green tomato pie recipe. A lady in the grocery store this morning told me about it and with the large amount of tomato plants I have going, I need a back up. We had loads of green tomatoes last year and I ran out of things to do with them.

Not a whole lot that's gossip-worthy. Which, at this point in my life, if probably a very good thing.

Entering the Nunnery

2011-04-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that it's been a very, very, very long time since I had sex. Since I don't foresee any sexual encounters in the near future (I hate the whole dating scene), I've decided to embrace my inner Ionian monk. (Or, in this case, nun). Minus all of the self flagellation and hours of prayer.

I choose to be celibate! I will enjoy life without the sex that binds!

Or something like that. I haven't quite figured out a good slogan for not having sex that doesn't sound like high school sex education. "Here's a quarter - keep it between your knees" is all I've been able to come up with. "Don't have sex! Keep the slug off your couch!" ?? It's a work in process.

I'm Here

2011-04-03T13:08:00.002-07:00

But the garden season has kicked in and I'm ass-deep in hyssop, anise, basil, and tomatoes. If anyone in the western montana area needs tomatoes, let me know.
Photos to come. I hope.

Drinking and Writing

2011-03-21T20:52:00.001-07:00

We all know the dangers of drinking and calling/texting/etc. but it's recently come to my attention that drinking and writing letters to the editor should also be included in that whole warning-on-the-side-of-the-can thing. That way, when people begin getting really pissed off, we have someone to blame.
"Come to my attention"such a nice way to say that my oldest sister has flipped her lid in the greatest 'lock her in the attic until we're on a reality show' way. This crazy woman (bless her heart) has begun drunken letter-writing to the editor of the local newspaper. While unemployment is a great issue to discuss, I about shit a brick when she closed with this line;

Quite honestly it's much more important than all this crap about marijuana when most of the people complaining about cannabis don't even really know what the hell they are talking about.

I seriously laughed my ass off for about ten minutes. And then I went out, bought more beer and made sure the internet connection was good. I mean, I can't pass up this kind of fodder.

Backhanded Slam

2011-03-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

Me (email): Did you know that on Friday mornings at 7:00 am, you can watch 'Smokey and the Bandit'?

Hottie Engineer (response): If you’ve ever been guilty of presenting useful knowledge in an email, this is one of those times.

This ranks right up there with "You're having a Diet Coke, right?"

Sunrise

2011-03-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

Real Heroines Have Colonoscopies

2011-03-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to keep my best friend entertained while she drinks that file stuff they give you before a colonoscopy, I recommended this book. Of course, now she, like the rest of us, has a huge crush on the main character. And I've pretty much get her convinced to use her air miles to go Ireland/Scotland. Oh yea, baby.

My garden has taken off, meaning that I have taken over the garage with lights, dirt, and seeds. It looks like we're growing weed, but unless someone has figured out something new to do with petunias (for my mom), they're shit out of luck.

Beasties

2011-03-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

Lately I've had a rash of computer beasties (aka trojans) that have kept me hopping. But, I followed all directions and have removed them - twice! rotten bastards anyway.

I got good leads on a couple of really nice jobs. Both are part time, both I want really really badly. One is my passion, the other is me helping out other people and really making a difference. Ever since I came back, I've decided that it's not just important to work, it's important to make a difference in the work that I do.

Laugh if you must. But, it's important to me.

There's some legal paperwork stuff I have to do. Important stuff. Nothing I'm dreading, actually looking forward to it. Just have to get together the filing fee and make a couple of appearances, then... well, I don't know what then. But it'll be something good.

Something To Think About

2011-03-03T13:44:00.002-07:00

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

-Benjamin Franklin

Birthday Cupcakes

2011-02-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday and the Youngest is making me funfetti cupcakes, as is tradition. I love my birthday, moreso each year. In the last couple of years, I've really begun to look forward to the year ahead and this year is no exception.
So many changes have happened in the last six months. Hell! in the last six days! And I look forward to everything coming my way. It's so exciting to think what will occur. Like Bree's cupcake, above. I've been given this great gift and I'm ready to have it cook away.

Tigger

2011-02-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sprouts

2011-02-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

I think I mentioned that I cleaned up the aerogarden, tossed out all of the salad seeds and planted basil instead. Well, the first sprout has appeared today! Which completely made up for the -5 degree morning.
I received a gift certificate for am*zon and ordered a shitload of herbs. I can't hardly wait for them to show up.

Scottish Accents

2011-02-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is quite easily the best thing I've seen about scottish accents and voice recognition.

"Please speak slowly and clearly"

Fresh Start

2011-02-19T19:21:00.001-07:00

I received the best gift today and it was only this afternoon that I realized how grateful, excited and relieved I am. Holy shite! I could do this entire dance in the snow out front of the house!!

Please Send Brownies

2011-02-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

This afternoon - after a horrific evening attempting to sleep next to my Youngest and never quite recovering - I drove down to the grocery store for some veggies. On the way there, I saw a sign for a shop called "herbal solutions".

Cool! I can get some lavender, rosemary, etc. and not have to pay any shipping costs.

Eh....no.

It was a head shop. The herbal part of the solution was mary jane. I thanked the guy for answering my questions and then went into the grocery store for the veggies, where everyone glared at me. Making almost burst into tears, due to the lack of sleep. "I was not there for pot! I actually wanted oregano!"

And then I had to come home and explain to my father why his truck smelled like pot. ( How is it you can be a resposible adult and still dread having to talk to your dad??)

Baking

2011-02-15T17:49:00.001-07:00

My parents have that whole HSN-Appliance Disease in which they apparently cannot control themselves and buy anything they see on the Venable Show. Luckily, it's working out for the best for me. After Dad purchasing a Rachel Ray dutch oven, I discovered this recipe for No Knead French Bread. Woo woo!
I've been looking for a bread that 1) the Oldest can make and 2) that I can modify to make herbal breads this summer when the garden kicks in. This looks to be the one.

Sun and Cookies

2011-02-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend was great, filled with baking with Bree. Yesterday was chocolate cupcakes, this afternoon cookies.
Do any of you remember "cooking" Chocolate No-Bake Cookies? I think it was the first thing I remember actually making on my own. I was thrilled because I "baked" them, so to speak. My sister (doing well with the not smoking thing, thankyouverymuch) was talking with friends at work about the cookies, which got all of us at home talking about them, wondering why the hell we don't make them more often. (I imagine that there are batches of these being made all over town now)
So, we dug out the recipe and they're sitting on the counter, cooling.

Here's the recipe we remembered using:

2 cups sugar

1/2 cup cocoa

1 stick butter

1/2 cup milk

1 tsp. vanilla

3 cups quick-cooking oatmeal

1/2 cup peanut butter

Combine sugar, cocoa, butter and milk in a saucepan. On medium heat, bring to a boil for one full minute.

Remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter (optional), vanilla and oatmeal.

Drop by spoonful onto wax paper. Let cool for at least 30 minutes.

In the meantime, I've been cruising out to the garden, checking out the plot and any possible damage done from this wind storm and winter. So far, we're looking good. Not exactly sure how I'm going to get all of the plants I want in there - money and space being two huge factors this year.
I'm also thinking about getting in on this gardening activity. I like the thought of being part of a team and having other gardening nerds to talk to. But, I have to figure out exactly what new thing I'm going to grow this year. Some new plant? New way to garden? Not sure yet, but I'd better get with it shortly!

Don't forget Valentine's Day!!

Hey! Guess What? I'm Depressed!

2011-02-06T13:49:00.001-07:00

My dad informed me yesterdayI was depressed.

huh?

I'm not depressed. I'm a little pissed that this recipe for lemon pound cake didn't turn out and that my iPod seems to have gone tits up, but I'm not depressed. I'm not sure where the hell he gets these ideas and I'm equally not sure how to convince him otherwise. Or even if I need to.
Maybe my case of Spring Fever is beginning to manifest itself in other ways. (I am so ready for Spring!!) Who knows.

I had an old friend show up yesterday. He caught sight of me outside hanging something up and decided to stop by.
I raced inside when he pulled in and brushed my teeth. (It was early) I was going to grab a quick shower, but then I thought, What the hell am I doing? I went camping with this man. I'm just brushing my teeth. I mean, ya know, after a week in the woods, there's nothing that's gonna shock anyone anymore.
It was great that he showed up. He's one of those friends who can just pick up where you left off.

Mom is doing good. No nasty side effects so far. knock on wood

Still applying for jobs. I didn't get the emergency coordinator one that I kinda wanted. It sounded cool and I like being around all those hotties in uniforms. But, it's cool. I've got other irons in the fire. Something will work out for the best.

Update: Hey! the iPod now works! woo woo!

Smokey Says, Only You

2011-01-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

My oldest sister has decided to quit smoking. She's 50 and has smoked the majority of her life. As a kid, I remember her saying, "I'm going to quit smoking when cartons get to $5.00." For those of you in the know, that's been a while. For the rest of us, I think I remember seeing Marlb0r0 cartons selling at around $45.00. Okay, so to be specific, she never said when she was going to quit after it got to $5/carton. Just after.
She's been to her doctor and has gotten a prescription. Today is her first day and so far, so good. She's not near as ornery as some people. For everyone else in the house today, it's quite a boon to our diet: two apple pies, a loaf of banana bread, and a meatloaf have all been produced by said sister. We have broken out the Wii Resort in an effort to combat the Fatties.
We'd go outside, however the snow is coming in sideways, making for an effective deterrent.

I finally got my hands on that book LesleyG recommended...I've got it downstairs so I can't remember the exact title. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years? Something like that. It's one of those books that comes at you at the right time of you life. One that, had you received it years or even months ago, wouldn't have near the same impact that it has right now.
I love those types of books. My first one was The Secret Garden when I was eight years old. The next was Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. In college, it was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I'm sure there were others, probably some I've mentioned here, not that I can think of them right now.
Anyway, this book has some great lines. The one I like the most is how memorable scenes make the story. That's a good one.

And Back To The Farm

2011-01-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

When my mother's neurologist (a very nice man, tidy to the point of being anal) told us that she had a 'cerebral activity', I flashed back to my grandmother's doctor telling the family about the Parkinson's Disease that had begun to take over her body. (Actually, now that I think about it, I don't honestly know who it was that informed me about her disease. I remember hearing Parkinson's and it all got vague after that.)
I found out later that the Levadopa my grandmother took was because of the dopamine her body failed to produce. At about the same time, I discovered that fava beans (don't go there, all you Silence of the Lamb-ers. We're talking about my grandmother here) contained natural dopamine.
I always wonder what would have happened had we eaten more fava beans earlier in her life. Would she still be here today? Maybe.
Since I was already looking for herbs to plant in this year's garden, I picked up some books and visited websites to find a little more information on nutrients. My mom likes when I make things with herbs and if I can sneak a few more 'good things' in there, I might as well. A few less Cheetos and a few more Herbal Heirloom Tomato (and peppers, I'm going to throw some hotties in there) Pickles might just do the trick. It sure as hell can't hurt, coming straight out of the garden!
So, there's probably going to be a few more recipes than usual and I promise not to get too Lola Granola on you.

Off the Reservation

2011-01-26T21:06:00.001-07:00

My horoscope stated something warm and fuzzy, a day full of light and fun.

Eh, not so much.

My mom had some sort of mini-stroke or seizure this morning. I knew something was wrong when I found her in the kitchen and she went downhill from there. Our trip to the hospital went out the window and the ambulance was called. Thank goodness. Mom had a grand-mal seizure in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Not a good thing for my father to have to witness, but it was good she did it there.

I hauled ass into town in my mom's passport - deargawditflies! - and then spent the rest of the day in the emergency room. It was frightening and really upsetting to see my mom on the gurney, not recognizing me or her husband of 37 years. She was like no one I had ever met before. But they have run test after test and so far, they haven't found a thing. Which is good and bad. We still don't know why she had this and so she's spending the night with this hawt doctor who looks like something off of Hawaii 5-0, the new show.
He's luscicous and it's a good thing she was heavily medicated. She would have mentioned his fineness, loudly.

Tomorrow, I'll head back in and hopefully bring my mom home to be with her ~~family~~ tribe. I'll spend the majority of my time on the phone to a sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, or family and reassure everyone that we're all going to be okay. Because we're going to be okay.

That's how tribes work.

UPDATE: Mom had some sort of 'cerebral activity' on her right side. That's what triggered everything. They aren't sure what it is and she's going to be put on some medication that's going to make her mean. So, I'm hoping for some slow moving salesmen. :)

Recipe for Success

2011-01-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

Today the Oldest and I (mainly the Oldest, I was support crew chief) made brownies. The one she wanted to make was Blondies, but we didn't have any semi-sweet chocolate chips so we modified the recipe a little bit and came up with Blondies With a Dye Job. (oh yea, she's over the moon about how good they are)

I thought I'd post the recipe so that everyone can enjoy her success. :)

Blondies With A Dye Job

2 C packed brown sugar
2/3 C butter
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 C flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 C cocoa

1. Grease the pan, preheat the oven to 350F. In a medium saucepan, heat brown sugar and butter over medium - low heat til sugar dissolves, stirring constantly. Cool slightly. Stir in eggs, one at a time, and vanilla. Stir in flour, baking powder, and baking soda. (It's damn tough! Easy way to build up the forearms, however) Add cocoa.
2. Spread batter in prepared baking pan. Cool for about 25 minutes, depending on your stove.

I just re-read the recipe and discovered that we weren't supposed to add the cocoa, but sprinkle the chocolate over the top. Well, screw it. They're good the way we did it. :) Plus, the Oldest has a rockin' confidence booster and I have another reason to hop on the elliptical! LOL

Tiny

2011-01-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

Duality

2011-01-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

In looking at some medieval programs here in the States, I'm discovering that almost all of them are inter-disciplinary degrees. Meaning, they don't just focus on the medieval times. There's a little something extra involved.
I'm looking at doing something with herbs - medicine? botany? agriculture? I haven't quite figured that one out just yet. But, in dealing with herbs and having a huge gardening space, I'm looking at possibly putting in a medieval garden. I probably can't do the whole cool, geometric design, but I can definitely give the plants a try.
And Lelo's mexican herb, epazote. But just one plant. :)

I'll double up on the aphrodisiacs, but I'll have to leave out the hallucinogenics. Mom's drawing the line. LOL

First Flight

2011-01-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

I forgot to blog this/or thought I already had blogged this but this is the exact moment that my Youngest realized that she was flying. The landing gear was up and she was watching the ground go further and further away.

I love the excitement on her face. :)

4-H

2011-01-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've decided that the girls need to get out and start meeting people. We all agreed to take a look at 4-H and see what they had to offer. No animals! There is absolutely no room for a sheep, cow, etc here so I made the rule to pick something else.

The Oldest? Archery and Fishing. After my initial - they do that? - I decided that could be pretty cool. I mean, we already fish, but the archery could be fun. I have no idea what that entails, but I'm calling tomorrow to find out.
The Youngest is still looking. She wanted to do the cooking, but wasn't old enough - what kinda shit is this? - so we're still looking. I need to read up on the archery and see if she can do it too. For obvious reasons, I'm a little hesitant to put any sort of object in her hands that could be used as a weapon. She may just be in the Cloverbuds program and do whatever they do they and not have to pick one specifically. Which puts me in the clear for at least another year. (whew!)

Keep a Changin'

2011-01-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today I had a Big Talk with The Other Parental Unit - he's heading outside of the United States and we're needing to redo the paperwork. We've agreed that I'll have full custody so that I don't have to deal with any headaches about getting his signature on anything.
It's a change because we've been working together for the last few years. Sometimes not always to my liking or benefit (personal opinion here), but we've still been a parental team. I don't know if people thought we were a big couple or anything, but I kinda like being able to hide behind it. It saved me having to date or act like I needed a date. (If that makes any sense at all) Now with being in a small town and knowing everyone who works in the courthouse, I'm back in the gossip mill and it'll only get worse with the filing of paperwork. *sigh*
But, change is good and I'm looking forward to it and everything that goes along with it. It'll make for a more interesting life. Plus, if the OPU falls in love with a gypsy, I've got the making of a fabulous movie on Lifetime Television.

Backstroke in Paperwork

2011-01-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

I've been applying for everything I possibly can to get back on my feet again. It makes my eyes feel like they're going to roll out of my head and down the driveway. But, that's okay. I'm leading a very interesting life, to say the least. Which has become my new goal: Lead an Interesting Life!

The good news: I've got my dad scheduled for knee surgery the day after tomorrow. He's been putting it off for MONTHS and the tear on his meniscus (probably spelled that wrong, sorry) is just getting worse. So, we went to the doctor and I barged my way into the exam room. ("You went with me, I'm going with you." "That was 35 years ago." "Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe") We hopped on the first available surgery date, which happens to be Wednesday.

The girls are seeming to do pretty good with the new school. The youngest's reading skills were off the charts so she's getting pulled out of classes to go to a different reading group. The oldest is a little behind in math, but everyone loves her, especially the Little Dude that lives just up the road from us. (It's really cute to watch him wait for her at the end of the driveway while I'm cleaning the rifle. Don't worry, I wave to him every morning...)
I'm looking for a 4-H group to get them into. They both love cooking, so I'm hoping to find something like that. I'll let you know if they make me den mom or whatever 4H does. (We get into the Fair free!!!)

Produce Shopping

2011-01-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Today I went down to the local nursery/grocer and picked up some carrots for a pot roast I've got in the crock pot. I didn't realize it until I began cleaning them.......I wonder if the produce guy is flirting with me?

At the Lesbian Bakery

2011-01-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

Or, what happens when my brother bakes cookies. Take your pick! LOL

Charleston

2011-01-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

Every summer I would head down to my grandparents' place in South Carolina and, inevitability my grandmother and I would drive over the Charleston to walk through downtown. After the Parkinson's took over, we went with wheelchair in tow. It sucked, but I still loved going.
In 2002, I was able to take my oldest (then almost 4) to Charleston with my uncle's wife. (He committed the ultimate sin by falling in love in rehab.) My "aunt" was technically only a few years older than myself, had a big drinking problem, went to Ole Miss, and I loved her to pieces. She had problems galore, but walking through Charleston, peaking into antique shops and the slave market for seashell jewelry, none of that mattered.
At the time, I was in love with an amazing man and I glowed everywhere I went. I loved seeing where she and my uncle were married (in Charleston, I missed the wedding), talking men and kids over lunch. I felt so cosmopolitan and far away from the small town I lived in.

My aunt died a couple of years after that visit. My uncle came home and found her, thought she was asleep and covered her up. When it got later and she was still 'sleeping', he checked on her, finding her dead.

Tonight I find that I really miss her and those Charleston visits. I could handle sitting at one of those little bistro tables watching the world go by right now.

Hey! Look What I Did!

2011-01-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I think Tysgirl's 'ninja comment' is coming into effect. (Or is 'affect'? I never know) I just looked through all of my photos this year. Holy hell, Scotsman! I can't believe the shit that I did! That my kids did! I'm amazed at us. Go us!

Which really helps to put a new spin on the new year. I mean, if I can do that, just think of the possibilities. I could be ninja. Okay, so it's montana ninja so there's wolves/grizzly bears involved.....but STILL!

cool

Found On Computer

2010-12-30T15:00:00.000-07:00

This was the last leg of the trip home. Pretty much sums up the whole trip. LOL

Good Morning Snow

2010-12-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yet another photo of the mountains across from where my folks live. I love those mountains. I look forward to hiking around in them again in the summer.
It's cold and snowy. Colder than I thought it would be, but it's also kind of refreshing.
Thanks for all of the good thoughts and wishes. I really appreciate them! I am thinking of making some resolutions this year. It's been a while since I've done that with any enthusiasm and it'll give me something to work at this winter.
Happiness hit yesterday when I got a seed catalog in the mail. Ooohhhh! Since I'm here on the acres....... :)

Pity Party

2010-12-27T16:01:00.000-07:00

After surviving the holidays, I find myself in a funk. Not one of those nasty, 'I can't get out of bed' ones. This one is more along the lines of Hollow Inside. I was so happy - it filled me up and I glowed. Seriously, I was a lighthouse in Glasgow. Every pore in my body emitted happiness.
Now I find myself empty and numb. How on earth/mars/pluto (leave it alone, it's still a planet to me) did this not work out?? I had no Plan B because this was my dream and dammit, I was making it work. I made it there, I was successfully studying, WTH??
I was completely and utterly blindsided. In a matter of days, I found myself back in Montana and I don't know what to do. I have no purpose. No light.

This sucks.

And yes, I hear myself whine. And yes, it annoys me as much as it probably annoys you and for that, I apologize.
I can't help but think that something better has to be around the corner. That whole 'closing a door - opening a window' bullshit. It has always worked out for the better for me. It can't let me down now.

Just an Overview

2010-12-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

After hauling all of the luggage down the five flights of stairs to the cab, we arrived exhausted and tired at the airport @ 3:00 am. We waited for two hours before we could stand in line and eventually have the ticket agent tell me that our bags were overweight. Even though we had flown through delta, we had to go with KLM's regulations. (WTF??)

Oh holy hell!! I had to throw out old sneakers and t-shirts to make it closer to their required 50 lbs. (Delta gives you 75 lbs.) Then they wanted to charge me 100 euros for each bag over weight.

Rotten bastards!

In the end, I only had to pay one over-limit bag and we raced through security to the waiting plane. Honest Injun, we were the last passengers on the plane. And then we sat there on the plane for another hour because of the freezing fog - they had to hose the plane down with de-icer.

We finally made it to Amsterdam, a little late, but in pretty good shape. Which lasted through McDonald's and right up until the time the Dutch security dude hauled me out of line to search my knitting. Oh yea, I was hiding the infamous crochet hook! He only got a little testy when I snatched my yarn away because the bastard was unravelling my work!!
In the end, I got everything back and the girls have a wonderful story to tell their friends about how their mother flipped out about knitting.

The flight to the States was excruciating, like usual. Screaming baby, cramped quarters, bad food. The usual. I'll stop there because the thought of it gives me a headache.

After arriving in Minneapolis, we had a three hour layover. A couple of gate changes, then we were off on our way. Only to finally arrive and circle the airport for a half an hour. We were supposed to arrive in MSO @ 11:45 PM, instead, we flew to Great Falls because of fog.
On the ground in Great Falls, we sat on the tarmac because no one was around in the airport. Seriously! There wasn't anyone to open the door! Someone finally showed up a half an hour later to let us in and called us a bus to take us to Missoula. We waited and hour and a half for the bus to arrive.

A bus with no heat.

We finally arrived into Missoula, frozen and starving at 6:00 am. We got our shitload of luggage and headed to the diner. I let out a little cry of happiness for the blue plate special - biscuits and gravy with a big old cinnamon roll on the side!! We ate our time away until my parents arrived.

And that's all I can remember. I've been busy trying to get my dad to doctor appointments and get Xmas presents lined up. (sorry, it's a pretty shitty recount.)

Safe and Sound

2010-12-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

We made it safe and sound. It was a nightmare trip - a total of 33 hours. Ended up with a bus trip from Great Falls. Ugh!

Tired, but safe at the 'rents.

More later, thanks for your thoughts and best wishes!!

Don't Tread On Me

2010-12-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Is it too weird to want a stress-free (or at least 'reduced') holiday? Just a little one?

Tonight at 3:00 am, I pay an exorbitant fee to have a cab take us to the airport, where I'm hoping that my extra baggage is in US dollars and not in £ because I just don't have that much dinero right now. I have money on a card "pending" and should hit anytime, but don't know if it's going to be there at airport time.

I've cleaned the flat until it shines. Or, at least I hope it does. Heaven knows, I've hauled garbage bag upon garbage bag up and down those five flights of stairs until I can't see straight.

I want to make it home, sleep a bunch and talk with people who don't demand, criticize or ask questions I'm not wanting to answer right now. Have some coffee too. And some good mexican food. (Do you know there's no decent mexican restaurants on this island? Not even a Taco John's! It's insane and I'm not sure how they live.)

And then.....well, I'm still going with the flow. I'll let you know what shows up.

Things I Have Learned

2010-12-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

1. What Americans call a "French Kiss" is called an "English Kiss" here.

2. The English cannot make a commercial with theme music outside of the 80s/early 90s genre.

3. I cannot stand the pronunciations of "basil", "poncho" and "contractor" here. "BA-zil", "PAN-cho", "conTRACTor".

4. They show WAY too many episodes of Friends, Scrubs, and American Chopper.

5. You should never get your bangs cut by a Kurdish barber when he's watching Europa News.

6. Scots love American idioms, so much so that they have you repeat them over and over again.

7. Brits LOVE gossip. They eat it like chocolate. I have no idea who this Cheryl woman is, but she's on every magazine cover and I can't tell if she's in a relationship with a man or a woman.

8. Good manners open more doors than money.

9. Go with the flow. Sometimes the journey is what you need, not the destination.

10. Your body can go places, but your heart stays where it loves.

Santa

2010-12-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to the International Students' Christmas party. I had made sure that the kids were on Santa's list for the visit a few weeks ago, not sure what was going to happen. The party was great, as far as Xmas parties go. Strong coffee, a limbo dance, cupcakes, vegetarian dishes, a Scottish clown/magician, and lots of crackers. (Not the Ritz kind - the christmas bangers)
And then Santa appeared and began handing out presents. The youngest, upon returning from her visit with the Big Man, commented, "I didn't know Santa had an accent."
Uh..

Luckily I was saved by the opening of presents. Talk about great picking! The Oldest got one of those cool neck tube things that the kids all love and the Youngest received a child's cooking outfit, complete with chef hat, apron, wooden spoons and cookie cutters. Perfect!

And what now? I'm done with my classes for the semester. I've made multiple trips to the recycling center, trying to clean up. I need to make a last trip to the library to return my beloved books and maybe take one last look around. It sounds like I might be able to return my t.v. (woo woo!) and get some money for the trip home.

I discovered that to find out just how alone you are, yell "Help!" and see how many replies you get. Mine was deafening. Hopefully I'm worthy. I love you and will be glad to get back to you.

No Fat Pants

2010-12-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm going through all of my clothes, trying to do laundry and get things packed up. I'm getting to a better place - not crying throughout the night much anymore. (That sounds terribly pathetic) I've realized that I CAN do it. I really can. I'm not leaving because school is too hard or because I've got a brain like bad cheese. Nope, I'm doing it because of the fees.
And while it's not okay, it does make me feel less of a failure. I did succeed!!! Just not to the final result I had hoped for. So maybe I should write, I was successful!!!

I do truly love this place. I do. It's a fabulous place with fabulous people. I highly recommend it to everyone!

So, any ideas on a new name for the blog??

Voted Off the Island

2010-12-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I have to head home next week. There's new fees and I just can't cover it all. I've spent the last couple of days busting my ass trying to get some sort of something worked out.

No dice.

So, I had to make the Parental Call, crying of course. Just so all of you fathers out there know, you never can handle your daughter crying, no matter how old they get. Or you get.

And now I have to go through the apartment - I'm tossing out all my fat pants - and get it ready for new people. It won't be hard. Actually walking out the door will be.

So.

All You Can Do Is Smile

2010-12-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

I've heard that if you smile, your gag reflex is shut down and so you can't throw up. This being said, I have a clenched-jaw ~~sneer~~ smile a mile wide.

It's funny how you can be following your dreams and suddenly, things change. The rug goes out from underneath you and you're lying there on the floor, wondering if you're too old to cry like you really want to. Would swearing be better? Sound more adult?
Looking at your dreams from the floor can put a different light on them. Make you see things you didn't see before. New shadows emerge, the shape of them is changed. They really aren't the dreams you had envisioned when you started out. Which, in hindsight that I'll have six months down the road, is probably a good thing. If your dreams stayed the same, you'd never get anywhere.
But, getting up off the floor takes some doing. A lesser woman than myself would call 999 or 911 and ask for help. "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Or, in another case "Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!" I probably will call and ask for help. Motivation more than anything else. But, for now, I'm lying on the floor looking up at dreams that are slowly fading like cloud animals

A Step In The Right Direction And a Bonfire

2010-12-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Parliment voted to raise the tuition for UK students 300%. Needless to say, the kids were not happy. I thought there'd be some trouble on campus today, but it was pretty good. A lot of it could have been due to the fact that after all of this snow and ice, the temps flew up to 45F creating a layer of water on top of everything, making it slippery as all hell. (It took us 40 minutes to walk to school this morning.) So I'm thinking that anyone that wanting to protest may have just slipped on the ice and is lying on their little protest sign in the hospital.

We decided to make our own tree:

Remember said snow and ice? Yea, it closed schools for three days. We needed something to do and this was the best idea we had, effectively killing two birds with one stone. The Youngest must have said something to her school friends about not having a lot of Christmas decorations because today she came home with loads of Christmas cards (it was like Valentines with Santa!). Either that or some other smart momma jumped on the arts and crafts bandwagon during the snow dayz.
I got an 'application' today for teaching adult learning classes this summer! I tossed an idea to the head of the MOLLI program about teaching a scottish history class at the adult learning center. She said it sounded great and to fill out a prospective that she could take to the review board. I'm way excited and am going to spend the next few days working on it.
Also, I may be doing the ESL thing. I signed up for it, they approved me, but I've still got to go through and get everything set up. I will also work on that this weekend.

It looks to be a busy weekend. (Oh, if you have any suggestions for the prospective, leave them in the comments.)

Snow Days

2010-12-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

It appears that I may have brought my Montana weather to Glasgow. We've been hit with a snow storm yesterday and 4F degree temps today, effectively closing all of the schools (mine included) today and tomorrow. I was scheduled for an Old Irish final this morning, but it appears that it might be put off until Friday. Fine with me, more time to study.
So, now I'm up to my ears in the Fairly Odd Parents and games of Uno (getting my butt handed to me) between the studying and a presentation possibly due next week. This forced interaction between the kids is kinda fun. I mean, they HAVE to play with one another. LOL I would love to have a jigsaw puzzle, but can't seem to find them anywhere. Even the ugly ones.
I got my first Christmas card today, which rocked my entire day! It put a little Christmas Spirit into the flat and I love those letters that people put into the cards. Usually, I think they suck and are pretentious, but this year, well, it's different somehow.
I'm a little worried about the kids in my building. They are DEFINITELY not from a cold climate and really don't plan for this kind of thing. (Am I the only one who remembers to run the hot water overnight so that the pipes don't freeze?) I think I'll go and knock on some doors, see how they're doing.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all of your well-wishes and great thoughts. We are having a blast! This is us in front of George Square's Christmas tree. Behind us is the skating rink! We passed on the letters to Santa this year. (Dear Santa, I can explain....)

Blessed

2010-12-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

With the holiday season and finals/papers upon me, I'm working my ass off not to get too stressed out. The school is actually the best part of it. I love it. So much that it makes me feel like I'm a teenager in love.
The holiday part, however....well, if it were just me, I would be okay. I'd throw myself into it and enjoy it all. But, like every other parent out there, you never feel like you do enough for your kids. And with one of my loans bailing on me, money is monstrously tight right now. I can't stand the thought of NOT having Xmas presents or disappointing them.
My professor (my age with kids who are my kids' ages) said just to take £10 pounds down to the Pound Store (the UK's version of The Dollar Store) and buy as many things as I could. Which makes sense, for that age group, it's quantity over quality. And, I mean, this year, I've purchased: new laptops, new bikes, cell phones, video games, clothes, done the Build-A-Bear thing, the aquarium thing. We do EVERYTHING that Glasgow has for kids to do - yea, it's the free stuff, but let me ask ya, how many kids make canopic jars through a world-class museum??

[Okay, in writing that all out, I'm making myself feel a helluva lot better. Thanks]

In other news, I've applied at.....Starbucks! Yea, I know. Corporate America. But, I like my little Starbucks down around the corner and well, I love coffee. So, think great thoughts for me and my application. I need all the help I can get.

And Happy hanakka. Damn, I spelled that wrong. You know what I mean. So enjoy it and Chrismaka and Festivus!!

For Those Who Don't Have FB

2010-11-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

I like my men like I like my coffee mugs.

Snow in Glasgow

2010-11-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

This morning we awoke to some snow! It's just a skiff, but the girls are happy and it really made it nice. Plus, it's sunny and just a beautiful day!
Good day, Sunshine!

Taupe Friday

2010-11-26T02:41:00.001-07:00

Thanks to wonderful Americans and this woman, we had the BEST Thanksgiving in a long time!!! I have no idea who that Nigella woman is, but she's got a raft of cooking books out over here and she must have lots of Yank friends because she's got all of these recipes 'specially geared towards us. We had her cranberry stuffing last night and it's definitely worth finding the recipe.
It turns out, the two other American women there were also from the Pacific Northwest! (Spokane and Seattle) And so all of the kids (there were 8 kids there total) had similar things to talk about, like this and this. I found out where to get Mtn. Dew and white plates (I broke two) and everyone lamented the lack of Schilling spices.
In the interest of peaceful international relations and because we remembered what happened last time, we didn't allow the youngest to play anything with swords on the Wii. It was bad enough when she handed one of the Scots his ass on the cycling game.

And now it's Black Friday. Good luck to all of you! I was trying to imagine a Black Friday here and I just can't do it. Maybe on beer or the last Celtics tickets, but on Xmas? Nah...not happening.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

If we can get through the holidays, we'll be doing good. But, let me tell ya, it's not easy. Maybe it's because we're creatures of habit that have to have their little rituals, like Thanksgiving at your parents' place, that when you don't do it, there's....well, a little hole. Right now, I'm not hauling the family down to my parents' place, calling mom to see if there's any last minute thing I can pick up at the store. Nope, I'm doing homework for a class I have tomorrow morning.
Class tomorrow?? Yep. As strange as it sounds to me, the girls and I will be going to class tomorrow.

But, we Yanks in Glasgow have banded together and we're going to have a big turkey dinner tomorrow evening. It's not exactly the same (except for the poor woman cooking), but these are desperate times, people. I'm grasping at straws.

And then, I deal with Christmas.

Joy in Mudville

2010-11-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

I have found bacon and all is right with the world again. It was hiding under the name of "rashers" and you have to get the smoked kind or it's just not good. At the same time, I also found Aunt Jemima pancake mix and syrup so I'm happy with that too.

I've decided to toss myself out there more. If I even think for an instant that something will be fun, I hop right up and do it. Or see if I can do it. The latest thing that I've done is sign up to be the Face of the Race for the Glasgow Womens' 10K race in May. I mean, why the hell not? I think it'd be a great experience and I'd get to meet a ton of new people so I applied to do it. Maybe I'll get it, and maybe I won't. Either way, I'm good. It's so much better than sitting there wondering.

And now that I think about it, I really need to update my Bucket List. I mean, I got a big one off the list this year, time to add another!

Back In the 80s - Word Up!

2010-11-19T14:21:00.000-07:00

The thing that I'm most struck about in the UK is the similarities to the late 80s/early 90s! They're wearing the same styles I wore at that time and the other day I about fell out of my chair when some guy (approx. 19) say "word up" in the library. Of course, I was stuck with the song replaying in my mind the rest of the day. ('w-o-r-d up') Tonight there's a Beverly Hills Cop marathon on the tv so I might get a few Neutron Dances out of it come Monday.

That aside, I'm enjoying throwing my own idioms into the Celtic Pool. They've gone completely bat-shit crazy over "as nervous as a virgin at a prison rodeo". It even made a tweet or twenty. I'm not sure if it's because they don't have virgins or rodeos. I'll get back to you on that one.
The other one that will be making the academic rounds is "dirt nap". I asked a professor about a reference in the Ulster Annals (notice the 2 N's there people) which states something along the lines of the sleep of the just. I wanted to know if that was just a priest snoozing or if he's taking a dirt nap. (It was the latter, just so as you know.)

Oh! More later. A friend just hopped on Skype!

Embracing Elvis

2010-11-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, this event is occurring. At first, I dug my heels in. The last thing I needed was crazy Brits whipping themselves up into a frenzy like some Monty Python episode. It would make my experience, well, cheap.

But then I remember my fascination with the Diana/Charles wedding as a girl. I even got up @ 3 am to go next door to watch the whole thing live (she had cable). I loved it. And now my girls are here in the country of the Next Big Thing. So, in the spirit of the country who spawned Elvis, I will embrace all that which is tacky about the wedding and report it here to you.

Yes, that's right. You will have the latest on 'limited collector' plates, the stamps, anything on black velvet!!

It's on!!

Poster Girl

2010-11-15T02:16:00.000-07:00

By some strange twist, I have become the poster girl for what I like to call What I'd Do If I Won the Lottery. In a nutshell, I'm doing what I would be doing if I won the lottery. Except that I haven't. And this freaks people out a little.

At first, I was very helpful (I still am, for the most part). I laid it out step by step on what worked for me and then waited to hear from people on their successes. But none have arrived. When I have asked people about it, I'm discovering that they're really quite comfortable in the situation they're in and really don't want to change. Or, change has become too scary and they're not going to do it without a fight.

I really am not the type to hack people out of my life, like pruning a tree or something, but I'm beginning to understand that it's exactly what I need to do.

I find these signs all over. At first I was laughing because it seemed a lot like 'cow tipping', but it's basically a sign saying 'don't dump your trash here'. Or else, don't tip the flies from the trash....

More Photos!

2010-11-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

Loch Lomond

2010-11-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

Took the train up to Loch Lomond today. (actually, the train goes to Balloch and you walk about five minutes to Loch Lomond) There's a cool aquarium on the Loch. Had a really fun time - getting more comfortable with getting around Scotland - but damn! I'm tired!

This, That, and The Other

2010-11-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

So.

Some strange doings here lately. Now that the gloss has worn off a bit, I'm beginning to see Glasgow's 'dirty laundry', so to speak. Amazingly enough, it involves other Glaswegians.
For the most part, Glaswegians are very nice and laid back. 'Go with the flow' type of people. You're not going to get internet the first 90 days you're here, but once you accept that and move on, all is well. Accept if you're another Glaswegian.
I've met some of the Other Mothers that pick up the kids after school. For the most part, it's the same-same. (more on that later) I was shocked, however, when one mother began slamming another mother because of where she lived.

WHAT?

And then the first mother began giving me the whole "what areas of town and who to stay away from" speech. Really, lady??
Granted, I'm not going to haul the kids down ANY dark alley anywhere in the city. Hell, I didn't do it in Montana, for Petessake! I have that one covered.
I'm giving the lady the benefit of the doubt on being a schmuck. It happens. It could be a translation thing and I could have been misinterpreting it wrong.

The later stuff: the mother I like the best at school, I think is a prostitute. Either that or she has a Russian online dating service dress her every day. In any case, she's interesting, funny, and very smart. She, too, thinks I'm Canadian.

The best pizza I've ever had is made just down the hill by a Turkish/Armenian guy named Padella. "Cafe la Padella - Organic Food Paradise" (At least, I think it's his name. He speaks very fast and has a thick accent I don't think even De Niro could cover.) He's tall, dark and makes a rockin' calzone too. The girls LOVE him because he tells them that no boy will ever be good enough for them and gives them chocolate cake with mint ice cream and raspberry sauce.

Just down the street from Padella is the haircutting place. I found someone who can cut a straight line and I'm refusing to leave.
But he scared me at first because he's Kurdish and the first thing he asks people when you walk in is if you like Saddam. The best answer I have found is, "Uh...I'm from Montana." Which, because he's going to go to America on vacation this winter, is a very good answer. He wants to go somewhere warm and see beautiful, blond women.

Knock youself out, Big Guy. Just let me get my bangs trimmed before you leave, okay?

The Glasgow Necropolis

2010-10-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

Went to the Glasgow Necropolis today. Got some great shots. I'll either send a link or try to post a bunch here.

Wasn't That Dumbledore's Bird?

2010-10-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

People are lighting fireworks tonight as I'm looking out my kitchen window. Which struck me as strange, so I mentioned it to the Girls. The Oldest piped up, "Oh yea! The teachers were talking about that. Some guy years ago was going to torch a church and he was stopped."

Really?

When I googled it, I found that she was wasn't exactly right. She was, however, "Bill Clinton Correct". It appears that November 5th is Guy Fawkes Day. Guy is the dude, who along with some other dudes, tried to blow up the House of Parliment but fucked it up badly. Like Randy Quaid-bad. So, now they have fireworks and bonfires in his honor and all of the kids are happy again.

Of course, when that time rolls around (especially since it's on a Friday), I will definitely post any Quaid-worthy photos.

Some Places Say 'Home' More Than Others

2010-10-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Getting Dumped

2010-10-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

Homesickness is a lot like being dumped. You do pretty good when you're busy, but then something from the past relationship hits you and bam! you're sad, with that big hole in the middle of your chest, and missing them terribly.

Today's excursion to Costco was like eating at 'our restaurant', in relationship terms. Costco here is set up exactly like Costco back home, so it's all very familiar and I wandered the aisles sighing over chocolate chip muffins and sniffling over Kirkland jeans. It was pathetic in every sense of the word, but I don't regret it one little bit. It's part of the process and I'm sure, come July, I'll be cruising Montana's Costco wallowing about Cadbury sipping cocoa and 'real coke'.

Customer Service

2010-10-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

The Glaswegians we have encountered are nice. Beyond nice. Nice like Eric Whatshisface-from-Monty-Python in European Vacation, where Chevy Chase kept running him over and he kept apologizing for getting in front of the car. That kind of nice.

I called the other day to cancel one phone line and go with another. Even though I was dropping their company, the person was exceptionally wonderful and once he discovered that I was from Montana, proceeded to tell me all about his road trip up to the Orkney Island last January ("Even my knickers were frozen") and the plans for next summer's road trip across America. (Wherein I voted against Kansas and mentioned that they should see the more northern part of the country.)

In keeping with the nice theme, I'm still an honorary Canadian because of my niceness. Today while walking from the library, I went through a pack of Jersey Shore Americans and damn near rolled my eyes out the back of my head. If they are the examples of Americans that Scotland is being shown, it's no wonder I'm Canadian, eh? (What seems to be the trouble is that they are making Glasgow fit into their life instead fitting their life into Glasgow.)

Comfort Zone

2010-10-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

I'm still dealing with finding my comfort zone while not in classes. (Studying and classes are fine - I could happily while away the hours in the libraries.) Secretly, part of me still wants to pack it all up and go home. The inspector position (i.e. job of mundane) looks pretty damn good when I'm looking around wondering what the hell I am doing here, where I am going to work, etc.

At those times, I try to remember how bored out of my gourd I was and how much I wanted to Get Out. That seems to work most of the time. The thought of having to repair a water line in the middle of winter almost always does the trick, though.

I find that I miss My Peoples more than anything. I want to follow my passion but I want everyone else to follow it too, as dumb as that sounds. I want to have someone(s) to go home to - gawd, I'm bawling already - that security blanket waiting for me.

Okay, so enough of that. My kids are looking at me strangely. I need to quit before I get them all stirred up too.

Doo, Doo, Doo, Lookin' Out My Back Door

2010-10-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so technically, I don't have a back door. I just have a front door, but if I did have one, this is what I would see. Kelvingrove Park. This fountain is one of my favorites and I'm constantly finding excuses to walk by it on my way through the park to school.
If the weather is even remotely nice (translation:splattering of rain) people flock to the park. The Mercedes-driving ice cream truck lady makes a killing. It's good Kelvingrove Park has lots of hills to climb, that ice cream is decadent! Heavy cream, whole milk....the fact that you might as well slap it to your ass and get it over with just makes it even more heavenly.

I'm Here!!

2010-10-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

We made it! Finally!

The flight over was a flippin' nightmare! These poor parents three rows up had screaming/whining kids were too how (gawd that plane was a sauna) and too tired. The kids screamed that high pitch squeal that only bats and exhausted people could hear. So just when were found a smidgeon of comfort and quiet and we were almost alseep, the child would let loose. Somewhere over Greenland I finally fell asleep with my mouth open, the Oldests's legs across mine and the Youngest propped up on my right shoulder.
Which made Amsterdam an unhappy place. I think that it was Fashion Week....strange, very strange.

We've been in Glasgow since Wednesday night, mostly wandering around trying to find everything. We found a Greek guy that makes a great cheese pizza, but sucky espresso. The food is cheap (thank goodness!). The people are really really helpful and nice, which completely made up for all of the paperwork I had to do and almost the problems with the visas. Almost.
I discovered yesterday that I love their subway - the call is Clockwork Orange because of the orange trains. We rode downtown to the "mall" and I decided that downtown Glasgow is exactly like downtown Portland, OR. I kept looking for a big bookstore and the Henry Weinheart brewery. Their mall is a mini-Clackamas Towncenter and there was even a T.G.I. Friday's. Subway, Quiznos, Starbucks, and even that nasty little Claire's jewelry store are here (much to the delight of my girls. I consider it an international infestation myself).

We've only had a bout of homesickness and that was the first night/day. I missed my dad terribly. Or maybe more specifically, I missed the comfort of my dad. The Oldest had her issues that night too so we were both bawling and fussing. The Youngest had hers the next morning at the Greek's pizza/espresso place. He was so worried that she was upset with her hot chocolate that it's comical.

My department is great and I can't wait to get to class tomorrow. (The girls also start tomorrow) My schedule is pretty spread out so I have time to camp in the library for studying which will allow me to get the girls in the afternoon and spend time with them without having to break out the books.

I'll get some pictures posted when we get a landline. I'm running on one of these little wireless sticks that look like I should be pee'ing on it to see if I'm knocked up. Not a lot of bandwith here.

Cinderella, Butterflies, Maybe Mariah C@rey Minus Nick Whatshisface

2010-09-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

I've always secretly been a fan of Cinderella. That whole 'rags to great shoes' story. Every summer in high school I dreamed of coming back, wow'ing everyone that had known me for years and years and living happily ever after.
Once I started working in construction, I often thought of emerging 'butterfly-like' into a whole new woman. Most of the time, it was when I was wearing insulated Carhart bibs and it was -10F. I quit with 'new me' thoughts after wearing red lipstick one time and it being talked about for months afterward. Cinderella, yes. Gossip fodder - no way.

Now that I'm no longer in that line of work and no longer going to be living in this city, I'm thinking I could make a few changes. Just a tweak. No one knows that's not me. Fake it until I make it. (Or whatever that saying is.) They'll think it's perfectly normal for me and I'll do it until it is perfectly normal for me. Everyone who knows me now will think it's from being overseas.

Or, I'll never have to see them again. That's also a good option.

So, let the tweaking begin! (I have to use the word 'tweak' because 'overhaul' makes me think of too much sweating and hard work involved. Be gentle)

Fool Me Once....

2010-09-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

This time I waited until I had the visas in my hands before getting my plane tickets. Good lesson, by the way. I learn the hard way, but at least I learn! LOL And so now, tucked away in my purse next to the voltage adapters, I have plane tickets to Glasgow!

We fly out on Tuesday!

Gawd help any Englishman that gets in my way this time! LOL

And, more good news? I still managed to get us to Amsterdam on the way! :)

It's Fall!

2010-09-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the Wildlife Refuge is telling me it's Fall!

Still Waiting

2010-09-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

But, at least I have someone to play with. (Her name is Moxy and I'm not sure how I'm going to leave her!)

Letter

2010-09-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Schaeffer,
Just because I'm not in your day to day life doesn't mean that you can just go about willy nilly, all EIT-like. It's been three months and you're out of control! Three hour meetings with excavators and no locates on the ground!? Have you gone completely mad??
It's time for you to man up and put your surveyor's vest on. Clear the beer bottles off that drafting table, delete the porn off your autoCAD and get back to work!
Okloveyathanks!

P.S.
You can say "concept discussion" all you want, but you're still just sitting around drinking beers.

The 'Rents

2010-09-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

Since I've been camped out here at Fort Dad, I've noticed that time is short before it will be a permanent thing. Not me moving back in...or maybe moving back in. I don't know.

What I mean is that my folks are going to be needing some extra help around here in the next few years. It's good that I got to spend these weeks here (even though it's driving me batshit crazy to eat dinner @ 4:00) so I can see and help around. I'm going to school right now and that's good 'cause I don't think I'll be able to in the next couple of years.

Sorry, if that last paragraph sounds crazy. I'm on my sixth episode of Phineas and Ferb. "A-g-l-e-t! Don't forget it!"

The Rain Stinks for Everybody

2010-09-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

Condom Advertising!

2010-09-07T14:23:00.001-07:00

Happy Labor Day!

2010-09-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hopefully you all are celebrating safely and sanely. If not, you'd better have a designated driver.

Me? I'm celebrating the fact that my apartment in Glasgow is being held for us and no one seems to be worried about the visa situation. "Just let us know when you have them and we'll meet you at the airport". Gawd, I love these people!

We're still blaming the whole affair on the English.

Don't Tread on Me

2010-09-05T18:56:00.001-07:00

On Friday, the day I was to receive our visas/passports, I received an email stating that the L.A. office of the Br*t*sh Consulate was swamped with student visa applications and I was probably two weeks out before we received ours.

HOLY F*CK!

I had plane tickets for Tuesday!! We're packed! Ready to go! Phone calls were made, loud ugly tears (all mine) were cried, Senators notified (yea, Dad got in on the deal), and dreams were cracking. What am I going to do?? I quit my job! This is my dream!
Last night I sent out emails to the school, explaining the situation and asking if my apartment and position in the grad school would be held. And then I cried some more.

This afternoon, I received the first email (and hopefully they all go like this) from the school. My position would be held!!

Come on, Student Housing!!! Keep that apartment!

Of course, I blame the whole thing on the English.

Just Let Me Pack One More Thing

2010-08-31T12:35:00.001-07:00

I've gone through all of the bags and boxes. Unfortunately, it appears that I'm going to have to make one more trip to storage. *sigh* I really didn't want to have to, but I just can't see mailing the rest of the stuff. Or worse, getting it to stuff into my luggage. I'm going to have a hard enough time explaining to my daughters why I stuffed my High Kings of Ireland in among their undies.

I'm still waiting for a couple of packages to arrive - is it just me or is UPS really the slowest mail delivery system since The Pony Express? L.L. Bean had a sale and I couldn't resist the shoes, of course. The second was luggage locks from REI.

[I'm devoted to REI. With the 10% dividend check of all of the year's purchases, I tried to buy as much of the trip's stuff there.]

I'm not as confident with TSA as I am with Homeland Security, so I'm attempting to purchase anything I need with 'TSA Approved' stamped on it to improve the chances of us getting through the airport in record time. (Hopefully, I'm not getting shafted.) I'll keep you posted.

Bald Is Beautiful

2010-08-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Especially when you have a fly painted on the side!

Uhm...yea. I'll take two!

2010-08-28T14:45:00.000-07:00

Fires and Homeland Security

2010-08-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was The Big Trip to Helena for visa fingerprinting/picture taking. We were fortunate enough that my mom let me take her new Passat (cherry red, of course) and let me tell you, those things haul ass! You don't even realize that you're buzzing along @ 85 mph until you see some poor bastard pulled over, so you look down at your own speed and slam on the brakes.

The trip was, well, it was pretty good.

Other than the road construction that made me think of a joke in Montana: what are the seasons in Montana? Winter and construction seasons. We definitely were in the middle of the second one. ohdeargawd!
We were about 20 minutes outside of Helena at 9:40 am (appointment was @ 10:00 am, of course. I could only schedule two of us at a time online. Two on Thursday, two on Friday) and then we hit the chip n' seal crew on Macdonald Pass. ohfuckmerunning!
We finally rolled into Homeland Security at 10:20 and I can honestly state that I LOVE THE PEOPLE IN THE HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICE IN HELENA MONTANA! Seriously. L-O-V-E!!
I came into the office begging and they said, "no prob!" and all of us got in, got fingerprinted and photographed, and we were out of the office within 45 minutes. No spending the night and I was able to get everything mailed to the British Consulate (overnight) that afternoon.

I am done! DONE DONE DONE DONE!! No more paper to keep track of! All I have to do now is sit by the mailbox and wait for everything to arrive.

Moonset

2010-08-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

In my attempt to appreciate everything. I got up early to look around. This amazing site is what I found. So, I decided to blog it so that I can always look back and see what I've got looking out my (parents') front door.

Stop, Drop and Breathe!

2010-08-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

I'm getting too caught up in everything that I'm forgetting to enjoy the process. (Minus the paper applications of the process) What the hell is that annoying phrase about the journey being more important than the destination? I can't remember it exactly - but I know that I'm getting too far ahead of myself. Instead of the journey and thinking about graduate school, I've already thought about a houseboat in Puget Sound and a doctorate from the University of Washington.

Completely nuts!

I've got just a couple of weeks with my family - even my brother (the one from Iraq) is coming up - and I should be enjoying it. I can see my parents getting older, they may need someone full time to be living with them before long.

So I'm worried that I'm going to fritter this once in a lifetime opportunity away and I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what the hell I was thinking. ???

Any suggestions on how to live in the moment??

Moon

2010-08-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

I was going to write 'Moon Over Stevensville', but it's not got that "zing". Anyway, almost a full moon. Enjoy!

Mum's Flowers

2010-08-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

My mom got a surprise plant from Park Seed two years ago. Never knew what it was going to be until it bloomed. Pretty nice surprise, if I do say so myself. Mom's happy.

Get Your Bong On!

2010-08-20T14:58:00.000-07:00

Got my tickets to Glasgow today.

With a four hour layover in Amsterdam!! Oh yea. I'm throwing the carryon in a locker and taking a train to town!! Woo woo!!!

So, if you want something (legal), send an email to airmid3120 at yahoodotcom and get me your snail mail addy! :)

(Okay, so now I'm REALLY REALLY excited!!)

Pffft!

2010-08-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have decided that compared to the passport and UK visa paperwork I'm required to do, school is going to be a breeze. (knock on wood)
Tonight I found out, after inputing information for 25 minutes, that I needed more money on my credit card to process my visa application. *sigh* Off to the bank tomorrow.
And just to add insult to injury, I have to drive 200 miles with two kids to be fingerprinted and have ou pictures taken next week. I have a smart assed comment about I could be fingerprinted right here in my own town, but not without committing a crime involving some sort of nudity.

But, today wasn't without some bright spots. I registered for classes - they have the base classes picked out for you, it's the optional classes you pick out later on. I got my mom's new clothes line cemented in (although I have no chance in hell of raising my arms tomorrow. No worries, I shaved the pits in the shower this morning.) and she'll have somewhere to hang laundry. Or, I'll have somewhere to hang laundry.
I also found out that my brother - the one that was in Iraq, thanks to everyone - is coming to Montana right before we leave so I'll get a chance to see him before flying out. *happy dance*

Learning to Adapt

2010-08-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

I'm learning that living with your parents takes some adapting. Like learning to eat dinner @ 4 pm. (Yea, I thought it was a joke too. It's not, people!) Watching HSN. A lot.

But, the worst thing for me is that I'm becoming The Parent where my father is concerned. I'm constantly picking up after him - how many magazines does one man need???? - and the only joy that I get out of it is using his own lines on him. "I'm not cooling off the whole world" is becoming a quick favorite. (He's on the phone now gossiping about the new neighbors with the next door neighbor. Kind of a Wysteria Lane meets Hee Haw.)

I do like that my daughters are spending a lot of time with their grandparents. I'm hoping that they will look back on it as a good time, like I did with my grandparents.

The Fair

2010-08-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

My feet are killing me and we got dumped on by rain, but the bumper cars made the whole thing
worthwhile. I still can't believe that The Oldest let her drive. I laughed the whole time, but not
near as much as them.

Not Flippin' Funny

2010-08-10T17:14:00.001-07:00

Okay, it is a little bit funny, but not near as funny as it would be if it was happening to someone else....

Anyway, it appears that my phone number was transposed on a mailing for a medical mary jane caregiver. I've been getting phone calls, "Dave, I just got a card in the mail saying that you're my medical caregiver. Can you give me a call back?"

I'd love to find a Spiccoli answering message. Something like this.

I'm getting hungry for brownies just answering these calls.

Creamery Picnic

2010-08-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's not really a parade until some blonde Pocahontas makes an appearance.